After surveying thousands of married couples, we’ve made a pretty crazy discovery: over 97% of married couples told us that they would LOVE to have a consistent date night, but only 10% of them actually do. Let that sink in for a second. Most couples want to have consistent date nights, yet they don’t actually have them!
We get it. Life is busy, and bills are real, which leaves you with little time and money to go on these elusive weekly date nights. Being a single income family with 4 kiddos, we feel that same time-and-money-squeeze that most of you feel. However, for the most part—through the years—date nights have remained a consistent part of our marriage. Here are 3 super simple things we’ve done and want to encourage you to do if you fall into the 87% of people who want to have consistent dates with your spouse but don’t currently.
The hurdle that we face most, and that we hear about most, is trying to find childcare. Yeah...you probably just cringed a little, didn’t you? Don’t worry, you aren’t alone in this date night childcare struggle. It’s hard to find people you trust! And on top of that, IT COSTS MONEY. This is why we started trading childcare. We found another couple that was willing to trade childcare for date nights. We would watch their kids one night a week so they could go on a date, and then the following week they would watch our kiddos so we could do the same. We’d suggest finding a couple who you trust and trying this out for a month or two, and then reevaluate from there.
Put it on the calendar
Here’s the deal: everyone takes things more seriously when there is a deadline. Remember those papers or tests in high school that you never took seriously until the night before? Those were the worst! Like it or not, what usually happened? You would pull an all-nighter study or writing session in order to meet the deadline. Why? Because there was a DEADLINE—there was a date in the future that was always staring you in the face saying, “I’m real! I’m here! You can’t avoid me!” If you are busy and have trouble getting a date night on the calendar, there is one and only one solution right now… GET ONE ON THE CALENDAR! Like now! Right. Now. On second thought, read the last point below and then IMMEDIATELY open your calendar and schedule a date night! Then start taking care of the details to make it happen. Find childcare, oh wait, figured out how to solve that problem 45 seconds ago! Then figure out what you are gonna do for your date.
Redefine what a “date” is in your current season of life
Chick flicks have really ruined dates for a lot of people. Take the classic movie, A Walk To Remember, for example. Landon Carter finally takes Jamie Sullivan on a date and literally doesn’t hold anything back! Landon starts completing bucket list items like being in two places at once and getting a tattoo. They did all this while sharing multiple super romantic moments AND not having to worry about if their kids were terrifying their babysitter back at home. Thanks, Landon and Jamie, thanks a lot. If that is your idea of a date, no wonder you don’t think you can have consistent dates! No one can consistently pull off dates like that over and over again! That is why it’s time you and your spouse redefine what a date is for the season you are in. We have walked through seasons where a date was spending $3 at Sonic for two ice cream cones and walking through Costco, window-shopping! There have been seasons where we go out to dinner and then spend a couple hours rock climbing afterwards.
YOU get to define what a “date” is for you in the season you are currently in, not Landon and Jamie. Get creative. The goal is to spend uninterrupted time together, enjoying each others presence. That’s it.
NEED HELP PLANNING DATES & FINDING SOMETHING TO TALK ABOUT?
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